Mission: Man Band is my mission to not watch

I was kind of excited about the prospect of this reality show on VH1: Four D-Listed former boy band members getting a second chance at a(nother) big break. I watched two episodes of this show, and I was left with nothing but a squirming feeling that came from being annoyed and uncomfortable, not the other kind of squirming I usually get when I think about Jeff Timmons or boy bands in general.

First off, in true boy band form (a la O-Town), they all live in a house together. In Miami. Tough life. Secondly, they have this annoying Manager hired by the network that they call Miss Kate. She pretty much does not do anything other than cause drama within the group and screw up her job, and their future at forming a successful 'man band.'

Then there are the guys. Each legends in their own right (pop music speaking), but within the show they are portrayed as washed up has beens with tons of talent but a tarnished reputation and very few chances of rising to the top like their former band mates who have already taken off (JT, Nick Lachey, etc.).

Bryan Abrams used to be in Color Me Badd, but then the band broke up and nobody has heard much from any of them since. To be perfectly honest, I am not familiar with Color Me Badd or any of its bandmates, so Abrams is kind of lost on me here. He has an amazing voice that shines through in his new group's mediocre-at-best musical performances. Other than that, his role on the show comprises of having a paranoid wife who is paranoid that he is going to fall into the galivanting, womanizing ways of some of his fellow bandmates.

You may not recognize this guy because you can't see the top of his head. Imagine the top of a pineapple sitting on top of this guy's head, and you may suddenly recognize him as Chris Kirkpatrick from *NSync. Since being one of the two members to fade into the background of the most popular boy band of the 90's, Chris started a new group (that failed), as well as voiced a cartoon character and launched an ugly clothing line. On the show, he serves as the ringleader of the group (which is funny because of his *NSync status as the one singing the high harmonies in the background), and pretty much makes rude comments about women and argues incessantly with Miss Kate. Oh yeah, and also being the most annoying one on the show.

Ah, Jeff Timmons. The sweet sounding hunk of a crooner who founded the hottest boyband to come out of the '90's, 98 Degrees. Ah, 98 Degrees. Put Jeff Timmons and Nick & Drew Lachey together and I don't care what happens, I'll salivate. But after Nick's solo career "took off" (and by that I mean since Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica), Jeff struggled to get ahead with his own solo career. Throw in the fact that he's married and has a daughter, and an incident with a DUI in Florida a few years ago, and the poor guy had a few rough years. On the show, of course he shows off his impressively strong vocals, but other than that he just complains about how embarrassing it is to be on a show where they kind of make fools of themselves and he doesn't want to fail with the band. He's kind of the whiny paranoid one on the show. He's Tonya from The Real World: Chicago, if you will.



Rich Korbin was in LFO. Apparently he likes girls that wear Abercrombie & Fitch. He'd take 'em if he had one wish. The group kind of disappeared after only one album (and I think it was for the best, don't you?). Rich was the rapper of the group, and he carries this over into the new group. Other than lukewarm 'skillz,' he also brings a chauvanistic pig quality to the show that rivals Chris's, as well as the emotional. He's a leukemia survivor and frequently brings it up, if for nothing else than to get the ladies's attention.

So far they've had two appearances in Miami nightclubs, crooning tunes with hot female backup dancers who do all the work for them. Their music sounds exactly like something that might be created by their former groups, leaving them looking awkward and their image tired and tainted. Better luck next time guys. Oh, I hope there won't be a next time...