Hollywood Headliners

• Katie Holmes wants more kids. God help us all.
  Who knew this charade would last so long! Remember the good old days when everyone thought Suri Cruise was a fake, and a ploy by Scientologists to get more interests in their religion?!


• There are only 3 shopping days left until Paris Hilton's deadline to report to jail. I'm sure she will not go quietly, but if she was smart she would turn herself in a few days early to assure privacy as she reports for her sentence. Then again, if she was smart she wouldn't have gotten a DUI, driven on a suspended liscence, and broken her parole twice.
  Paris' sister Nicky was reported to defend her sister, saying it is ridiculous to be sent to jail for a traffic violation. Lord, I hope Paris realizes that she's going to jail for violating her parole on multiple occasions, and not for a traffic violation! I guess her sister is just as smart as she is.


• Speaking of DUI's (you had to know this was coming), Lindsay Lohan was slapped with a DUI after she crashed her car into a burb on Sunset Blvd. It was bound to happen sometime, we just all thought she made be able to make it to 21 first. Wondering why La Lohan didn't just ahve someone drive her out if she wanted to drink. Well, apparently she did have a chauffeur all night long, then he dropped her off at her condo and she left in her car with two other passengers. That not good enough for you? La Lohan reportedly LEFT THE SCENE before police showed up. Smart. And what's more, police are looking into a substance they believe to be cocaine that they found inside her car (although La Lohan was not carrying it). STILL not enough for you? She's now back in rehab. Not the same one she went to earlier this year, though (although this incident is proof of their great track record). She's in Promises Treatment Center in Malibu, where Britney was a few months ago. Which is good, because look at how good THAT situation turned out.


• I know this is old news, but Rosie O'Donnell has left The View earlier than her contract states. After making a comment in which critics suggested she referred to American soldiers as "terrorists," Rosie confronted Elisabeth Hasselbeck for not defending her. They did a split screen of the argument (which, having watched the blowout, was honestly the best way to cover the altercation), and after she saw it, Rosie decided it was time for her to leave. I have to say I'm extremely relieved. Now I can hopefully completely stop watching that show. Too much post-menopausal estrogen going on over there.