Showing posts with label The Wood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Wood. Show all posts

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Baby-V no longer in her 'big wheels'


Vanessa Hudgens was surrounded by papparazzi as she headed in to the DMV in Glendale, CA, to take the written portion of her driver's test (um, I didn't have to do that...is it because I did it for my learner's permit?).

Why do I feel like this is a disaster waiting to happen? Luckily for us, it seems like Lindsay has been hiring drivers (I think Britney should take a hint from her, don't you?), but it scares me to have so many starlets on the streets. Good thing I rely on public transportation now!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Kiefer Knocked on his Keister


New sweater to attend LA event: $200.00
Booze at event: FREE
Bail: $25,000.00
Seeing your face next to Nicole and Paris in celeb mug shot photo galleries: Priceles

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Preggers

If the notion of ‘Spring Fever’ really holds true, doesn’t that mean that more people should be getting pregnant at the beginning of the summer? Not in Hollywood, apparently. It seems as though so many celebs are popping up with the preggers! Here’s the list I came up with:
Nicole Richie & Joel Madden, Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman, Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry, Isla Fisher & Sascha Baron Cohen, Tameka Foster & Usher, Selma Hayek & François-Henri Pinaut, any others I’m forgetting?

Let’s hope they do a better job than Britney! (that's right, I went there)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Oh, Lindsay!

This is a hilarious article on Linday Lohan's troubled life in last month's issue of Rolling Stone, written by Rob Sheffield.

Lindsay! It's been way too long, what are you up to, besides Page Three of youre to-blow list for the day? I know, that crazy DUI thing. Wait--another one? Busted at the corner of Pico and Main? After allegedly flooring your Denali in pursuit of your assistant's assistant's grandma? Lindsaaaaaay! I'm in no mood! Don't! Ever! We are not having this conversation. No! I'm disappointed. No product placement for American Apparel hoodies? No paparazzi shots of you reaching nirvana on the windshield? I expect a little more from a Lindsay bust. You've let me--all of us--down. Cocaine in your pants--why the hell were you wearing pants?
Can't you get pinched for dogfighting or something? We'd like to see you busted for running Fyrecrotch Kennel, training bitchy Pekingeses for walk-offs against Britney's Yorkiez of Doom.
Still, I have to hand it to you, and by "it," I mean more drugs. You don't waste any time, do you? Heck you just turned twenty-one, right before you got out of fun-hab. That SCRAM ankle bracelet should be a Denver boot. Your knees haven't been on speaking terms with each other in years. But nothing stops Lindsay. I love the email you sent out the next day: "Did not do drugs they're not mine" and "i appreciate everyone giving me my privacy." Of course, the strain of sober writing might have jumbled you words--clearly, what you meant was "Did not do privacy" and "I appreciate everyone giving me my drugs."
It's been quite a big year for the Big Three: Britney, Lindsay, and Paris--the Beatles, Stones and Dylan of party-tardism. If shaving her head was Britney's White Album, and Paris' jail term was John Wesley Harding, Lindsay's new bust is her back-to-basics "Jumpin' Jack Flash." Together, they've achieved whole new levels of probation-flouting, tabloid-humping and career-throttling, but I worry they're not mentoring the next camera-whore generation. What about the new breed--who will be the Guess Who or Elton John? Who will inherit the torch? Hayden Panettiere? Kim Kardashian? Not likely. This troubles me. Brit, Lindz and Gay Paree need to start grooming protogees to crash tomorrow's Denalis into tomorrow's assistants. For the sake of the legacy, they need to reach out to freshly fallen child stars and daddy-punishing heiresses. It's called giving back ladies. It's called the future.

Sunday, August 12, 2007



Is it sick that I am transfixed everytime I see a photo of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens together (in other words, am I 13 years old?)? I am just fascinated by this new power couple. Think about it...they are the new Britney and Justin.

Everyone is transixed by them. They are stars of the biggest pre-teen/teen movement of this generation. They probably get freaky in the bedroom but have to keep it clean in public for their 11 year old fans (um, did I just write that?).
They are definitely the publicist's dream: the perfect looking couple. What many teens will try to live up to. Like Joni and Chachi. And I can't wait until their scandalous breakup, and their songs about the other one cheating on them ("Cry Me A River," anybody?)

But I guess everyone is allowed to be freaky every once in a while (how bizarre is this photo?!):

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Making Up For Lost Time

I haven't been updating this blog very much recently, and for that I apologize. It's just too tough when you're hiding from the Beckhams. And by hiding I mean scouring the city for a sighting.

I would also like to issue an apology to my dear Lindsay Lohan for being rough on her in the past. The truth is, La Lohan is actually one of the kindest, most considerate people in the Business. Think about it...never to be one to steal the spotlight, she stepped aside and entered rehab to give others some time in the limelight. For a month we once again enjoyed Britney's crazy antics (disowning her mother, making up poor excuses for attacking cars with umbrellas, wearing mismatching underwear, etc.), Paris's jail behavior, Nicole getting knocked up, and the like.

But La Lohan has finally had enough. After turning 21 and leaving rehab (how anticlimactic for the party girl to be sober on her 21st...or was she?), girlfriend has been ALL over the tabs lately, including partying in Vegas, sporting her alcohol detection ankle bracelet (ya know, just to prove it's ACTUALLY water inside that water bottle), and most recently, turning herself in to the LAPD over her DUI a few months ago. I cannot WAIT for that mugshot! I'm saving a spot for it on my wall right between Paris and Nicole's.

And so, with a short break for us to be reminded just how much we love her, La Lohan has returned in full force. Thanks for being so considerate, Lindsay. You have no idea how much it means to me.

Monday, July 2, 2007

A New Paris? Je ne pense pas.

Finally got around to watching Paris Hilton's interview with Larry King. It was so ridiculous. I actually went so far as to think she didn't look terrible when she was released from jail last week, but I'm guessing someone hit her with a baseball bat before she went on air because she looked awful...it was like she tried to make up for 3 weeks worth of botox and lip collagen implants because she was all puffy.

Poor Larry King. He's old enough, he shouldn't have had to deal with dragging a full sentence out of Paris's mouth like he did. I'm pretty sure he needed his heart re-booted after that interview.

After spending 3.5 weeks behind bars for multiple parole violations, it still doesn't seem as though Paris is clear as to what she did wrong. In describing her situation, she said she thought it was ok for her to drive because her lawyer told her her liscence was suspended for 30 days, and then she could only drive back and forth to work for another 90 days. Then she talked about the second time she was pulled over for driving on a suspended liscence, how she was going to In & Out Burger. How does that constitute driving to work?

Paris looked at her time in jail to focus on herself and think about who she is and what she wants to do...like it was a stint in rehab or attending a self-help seminar...not a punishment for committing multiple offenses.

She claimed she was treated just like any other inmate--no better, no worse--yet she still insinuates she was treated unfairly, citing others who go to jail for the same offense she did only spend 10% of their sentence behind bars, and she served 50%, and the sentence didn't fit the crime. Hmm, she may actually have a point there.

Some memorable quotes:
  • "It's prison food. It's not supposed to be good."
  • "I didn't want to cause a media circus...going in."
  • "I'm an Aquarius, we're social people" (yes, she actually said this on Larry King Live)
  • Larry (throwing out names she has been associated with to get a comment): "Britney Spears." Paris: "Mmhmm." [pause] Larry: "What about her."

What's the celebutante up to now? Vacationing on Maui, trying to blend in wearing HUGE sunglasses, OVERSIZED sun hats, and godawful wigs. Welcome back, Paris!

D-Day has arrived

And I thought it was bad when Paris Hilton was released from jail. The TRUE D-Day has arrived. Today, June 2, 2007, marks Lindsay Lohan's 21st birthday. And how is she spending it? In rehab. Well, not really. She had a birthday party in Malibu. But then she went back to Promises.

Wait, scratch that whole D-Day thing. It's really just like any other day...not being legal has never stopped her before!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

  • Parents, lock up your children! Put away your valuables! Keep your pets indoors! Paris Hilton is out of jail. She got out at 12:01AM, amid a flurry of camera flashes from paparrazi. Paris is back! And so is my nausea.
  • Isaiah Washington is set to do an interview with Larry King soon, so I'll definitely be chiming in on that. But he's also in talks to work for NBC on a new show. Apparently NBC is ok with being in the lowest spot in the ratings. And with Isaiah on their network, so am I.
  • There have been a lot of deaths in the WWE world, both real and staged, and regardless of their nature, it all seems a bit strange to me! Most recently, wrestler Chris Benoit was found dead in his Atlanta suburb home, along with his wife and son. On Friday June 23, Benoit allegedly asphyxiated his wife and his 7-year old son the next day, before hanging himself.
  • If Justin Timberlake, Nicole Richie, Jessica Simpson, or Matthew McConaughey want to take a lesson on keeping a relationship under wraps, they should look to the current slew of unkown Hollywood couples who have called it quits recently. The under wrapts couple with the highest profile who have recently split is Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon. While it is speculated that the two were even together in the first place (not to mention only speculated that they called it quits) and were only seen once in public together, the rumor mills have been turning over their breakup. In addition, Weeds stars Mary Louise Parker and Jeffrey Dean Morgan have broken up, as well as High School Musicals' Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens and Lost's Evangeline Lily and Dominic Monaghan. Um, did we even know these three couples were together? Very cute, but even together?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Paris a basket case (of mail)

Paris Hilton (yep, she's still in the slammer) reportedly gets more mail than any other inmate in the history of Lynwood Correctional Facility. As if that was surprising.

What's more, Hilton is expected to be released sometime next week (Monday), and her neighbors in the Hollywood Hills are flooding LA's councilman with angry phone calls, hoping that the paparrazi storm will subside and prevent the type of traffic problems and interruptions it did when she was carted off to jail (the second time).

Waaaaaaait just a cotton panty-flashing moment. What happened to a 45 day sentence? If Paris is released on Monday, she will have only served 23 days of that sentence. Ah, whatever. I can't care about Paris Hilton anymore.

But I will say this: After claiming that her 'dumb blonde' act was just that--an act--I am very interested in seeing what happens to the socialite in the future...maybe she'll open a school like Oprah did in South Africa, only instead of school uniforms, a yoga studio, and beauty salon, she'll offer see-through panties (what am I talking about? No panties allowed!), pole dancing classes, and free hair bleaches for everyone! Sign me up!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Hollywood Headliners

  • Jessica Biel has rejoined Justin Timberlake on his European tour, after he sent her home because her booty was too distracting. Or something like that. Seriously, I don't know which one has the better booty...I'll have to research that one. Biel has been seen walking around Europe with Timberlake's mother. So are these two together, or what? And when is the sex tape coming out, 'cause I'll invest in that shit.
  • Brad Pitt's mom visited Jennifer Aniston over the weekend. Brad's family claims that he and Jen are friends, so it's acceptable for them to be friends with her too. When was the last time you saw Jen and Brad hanging out together? I would kind of hold a grudge against my ex-hubby for leaving me for my costar and adopting half the orphans in the world and becoming even more of a super-couple than we were together. Call me crazy. Oh, and Angelina's pissed that her hubby's mother is hanging out with Jen. Can't Angie just snap her fingers and make people 'disappear' (if you know what I mean)?
  • Scott Baio is 45...and Single. That's in italics because it's the title of his new VH1 reality show. Do I really need to bother making up a joke for this one?
  • Kelly Rowan, otherwise known as Kirsten "Kiki" Cohen on The OC is engaged. To a billionaire. Not just any old billionaire, no. He's only the richest man in Canada, and the 10th richest man in the world, according to Forbes. Hey, Kelly, the show wasn't real. You don't have to marry the richest man you can find...but can I borrow $100?
  • Apparently the Hoff's video of him attempting to eat a hamburger with the world's strongest beer goggles on didn't mean anything to the judge who granted him primary custody of his children. His ex-wife only has visitation rights every other weekend. Hey girls, I hear Angelina and Brad want 14 kids, put in your application now.
  • Troubled actor Tom Sizemore allegedly broke down in tears at a court appearance after being escorted into the courtroom in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs. Sizemore pleaded with the judge not to send him to prison for violating his parole from a 2004 crystal meth bust. He said drugs have grabbed him around the neck, but he won't do it again. I'm pretty sure that's what Britney said after she flashed her punane, but now she's flashing her girls all over town, so I don't know if Sizemore should really be trusted in this case...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

It's her party, and she'll cancel if she wants to...

I was going to title this "...she'll drink if she wants to," but I figured it wouldn't make sense now that Lindsay Lohan has cancelled her July 2nd 21st bday bash at Pure nightclub in Vegas. Wait, what? Lindsay pass up the opportunity to be in a nightclub with her suspiciously ambiguous 'bottled water?' She'll be getting out of rehab soon. Let's see how much longer it will take for her to hop back on the party train!

Looks like she's takin' a hint from the Olsen twins...maybe she'll actually lay low for a change!

Hollywood Baby BOOM!

Just when you thought it was safe for celebs to jump in to bed together, we are reminded of its repurcussions...

Julia Roberts and husband Danny Moder welcomed their third son on Monday, Henry Daniel Moder (a surprisingly normal name next to their two-year old twins, Hazel & Phinneaus.

Tiger Woods and wife Elin Nordergrin welcomed a baby girl, Sam Alexis Woods, on Tuesday.

Also, laying low, is Keri Russel, who on June 9th, welcomed her first child with husband Shane Deary, River Russel Deary.

All this amidst rumors of Nicole Richie having the preggers (God help us all). Although I applaud Roberts and Woods for actually coming up with NORMAL names for a change (Apple and Moses, anyone?)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

America's favorite toddlers are finally legal!

Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen turned 21 on Wednesday, June 13. We know these twins are business savvy, with their empire of merchandise, films, clothing lines, etc., but they may be smarter than we think.

Unlike many other young Hollywood starlets, the girls kept it low key by celebrating with a dinner party at the legendary Chateau Marmont. While the wine and champagne flowed all night long, this is much classier and mature than other starlets who, say, are planning a huge Vegas bash while they are still in rehab.

Paris update

Even though Paris Hilton was sent back to the slammer last week, she is still managing to get the special treatment. Since returning to jail, she has been housed in the medical ward (until Wednesday night, when she was moved back to the jail where she began her sentence), which costs $1100 per day to house an inmate, compared to the low hundreds of dollars it costs to house an inmate daily in the jail. In addition, Hilton's parents came under fire Tuesday after skipping the line to visit their daughter during lunchtime, causing other visitors to be sent away and asked to return later in the day. A recent KTLA report revealed the results of a study that looked at 1,500 similar cases to Hilton's, and the sentences they received. If Hilton remains incarcerated for her full 45-day sentence, she will have served more time behind bars than 80% of the individuals with her same offense.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Paris is burning...

...or something like that.

I think it's safe to say that nobody could really get anything done in LA because of all the madness surrounding Paris Hilton. I know I ranted about her being re-assigned to house arrest (quite the punishment, given her mansion), and apparently the judge read my post about it because things just hit the fan afterward!

The judge summoned both Paris and Sheriff Lee Baca to report to court at 9AM Friday morning to discuss the reassignment. Apparently the judge ordered Paris to not be eligible for a pay-jail or house arrest alternative to her sentence. Therefore, Paris was at risk for going back behind bars, and Baca was also at risk for being charged with Contempt of Court.

After word spread that Paris would be reporting to court via phone (allegedly because the sheriff's office wasn't going to pick her up), the judge ordered a police car to pick her up. After a late start, Paris was escorted--in handcuffs--to the LA County Courthouse in downtown LA, amidst a mob of papparazzi. Once inside the courthouse, the judge sentenced Paris to return to jail and serve the remainder of her 45 day sentence (yes, he re-upped her sentence from 23 days back to 45), and they whisked her off from the courthouse back to the facility.

Ouch.

There have been many speculations about the "medical condition" that led to Paris being reassigned. From withdrawal from her meds to being a picky eater and not wanting to eat the prison hot dogs, it is difficult to speculate exactly what the problem was, but I think it's something having to do with her mental health (although she didn't need to be sent to jail for me to think that). The newest hypothesis, however, is that she didn't use the bathroom for the entire 3 days she was in jail because she was afraid a guard or attendant would snap a photo of her on the toilet. That's gotta be uncomfortable.

Paris recently released a statement declaring she would not be appealing the judges re-sentencing:
"Today I told my attorneys not to appeal the judge's decision. While I greatly appreciate the Sheriff's concern for my health and welfare, after meeting with doctors I intend to serve my time as ordered by the judge. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. During the past several days, I have had a lot of time to reflect and have already learned a bitter, but important lesson from this experience. As I have said before, I hope others will learn from my mistake. I have also had time to read the mail from my fans. I very much appreciate all of their good wishes and hope they will keep their letters coming. I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials. I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world."

If that's not a carefully constructed statement by her rep's, I don't know what is!

Hopefully I won't feel compelled to write about anything Paris for at least 40 more days until she is released from jail. But Paris definitely doesn't know how to do anything quietly, so we'll see!

Friday, May 18, 2007

TR comes out in more ways than one...

Poor T.R. Knight was so ready to break free from his ties to Grey's Anatomy that he died his hair pink (well, not pink, but definitely dramatically bright red. It probably would have been pink if he bleached his hair before dying it). Now that's a way to come out of the closet! And out and proud, T.R., out and proud!
Last year he dyed his hair blue for ABC's upfronts, so this must be a followup. I don't particularly think it looks that great, but it's still a turn on for some reason (must be because it's T.R.).
Nevertheless, I think he may need some tips on learning how to lay low. For someone who was so shocked by the amount of media attention he got last year, and who was ready for a break from work, he sure doesn't know how to make himself disappear into the crowd. Who was his mentor, Britney Spears?

Hollywood Headliners

-The CW has cancelled Veronica Mars. Wait, what? One less drama about teen angst? What am I going to do with myself?

-Paris Hilton's jail sentence was reduced from 45 to 23 days. Some call it time off for good behavior, I call it a good lawyer. It was also reported that she will be in a section of the facility which holds high profile prisoners, such as former police officers or others who could be threatened by the general inmate population. Um, but can't the general inmate population be threatened by the general inmate population. I don't get it. I mean I get it, but I don't get it. And Paris will likely have an inmate. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on that wall for 23 days. To hear someone try to bond with Paris and understand what goes on in that head of hers. Maybe they could do a reality show where they show what she does in prison. That ought to make some bucks for the CW.

-La Lohan. It wouldn't be a Hollywood Headliner update without some trashy story about Lindsay. Not only has she been seen sucking...face that is, with new British boy-toy Callum Best (eh, she's done worse, that's for sure. But I'm sure he's done better!), she was also just saved from a theft charge where a woman claimed Lindsay stole clothing from her while she was out of town. Things are looking up for Lindsay. Now stop going out every night, and ditch that bottle of 'water' that is apparently glued to your palm and you'll be all set!

-On the American Idol front, Melinda Dolittle is relieved she was cut from the competition. She claims it was the first time she was able to exhale in a long time. Hopefully she realizes that the show was just a launching pad for her career! Also, Phil Stacey has been granted time off from serving in the Marines to tour the country with American Idols, Live! In an interview, a spokesperson for the Marines spoke very highly of Stacey, thanking him for his dedication to his country. Sounds like he's quite a valuable asset. So valuable in fact, that the Marines let him take 5 months off to appear on the show, and another 4 months for the tour. So what if a few marines have to eat unpeeled potatoes for a few months (not sure what other valuable service he could be lending to them). They love Phil Stacey!

-People.com reported that Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have split. Not for good, though, but temporarily. A source on Team Simpson says, "They have broken up. But they have broken up and gotten back together at least ten times before. I'm sure they'll get back together." And a source on Team Mayer says, "John did say that he broke up [with Jessica]. He said that it was because he was just over it." Wow. I know these two are young and have been in the spotlight for a while, and thus they may have missed out on a few years of being a normal person, but have you ever heard lamer teen drama than this???

Monday, May 14, 2007

Heeeere's Johnny!

UCSB folk will be particularly tickled by this breaking news....

Johnny Tsunami is back!

That's right, kiddies, everyone's favorite displaced surfer is coming back to the small screen in the DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie, duh!) Johnny Kapahala: Back on Board

Non-UCSB folk may not know that Brandon Baker, who played Johnny Kapahala in the original film, went to UCSB. In fact, I had the esteemed "honor" of living upstairs from him one year. We even shared a washing machine (please contain your excitement).

Oh, if those kids only knew the things I saw and heard Johnny do....

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All that glitters...

I have grown increasingly interested in the role homosexuality is playing in Hollywood these days (I dunno, maybe it’s my constantly growing (no pun intended) obsession with T.R. Knight). With the outings of T.R., Lance Bass, and Neil Patrick Harris last fall, the “f-word” scandal that rocked the set and the cast of Grey’s Anatomy, and the rise of Perez Hilton as a trashy tabloid blogger extraordinaire, never before have gay issues been so prominent in The Wood.

But have things really changed for gay actors? Just because time has allowed gay issues to come more to the forefront of our culture, do changes toward equality actually extend into the entertainment industry?

Some would say yes. Any kind of exposure (be it Rosie’s position on The View, Ellen’s hosting of The Academy Awards, Isaiah Washington flinging the f-word around like Akon throws his women) is good exposure, good or bad. With gay rights issues a major topic of debate, even in politics, there is greater chance of gay issues and characters popping up in television and film (like 2006’s trio of queer cinema recognized by The Academy: Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Transamerica). And with more out actors in Hollywood, not only might it become easier for more actors to follow suit, but there will be more opportunity for gay actors to have a prominent spot in the limelight. By telling the stories of queer actors and characters in popular culture, Hollywood helps raise the visibility of LGBT issues and give millions of Americans a greater understanding of who we are as people, not merely statistics.

I think I’m giving Hollywood too much credit here. I don’t think they can be honored for being so progressive. It can pride itself as a place where homosexuals are not only accepted but employed in gross numbers, but the unwritten rule is that an actor never comes out of the closet. Playing a gay character is one thing, but admitting to being gay is another. Furthermore, it is considered heroic or challenging for a straight actor to play a gay actor, but pretty much unheard of for a gay actor to play a straight character (which, in my opinion, is probably more challenging). Since Tom Hank’s Oscar-winning performance as a man living with AIDS in Philadelphia, gay roles have been sought after by straight actors because they are looked at as disadvantaged, and actors want to play underprivileged characters, no matter what their disability may be (one article that I read recently actually classified homosexuality along with physical or mental disorders in terms of an actor wanting to tackle a challenging role). There seems to be some stigma that an actor coming out of the closet kills the success of one’s imagination, with characters often serving as an outlet for viewers to imagine their own romantic fantasies and thus have the need to think of them as strictly heterosexual. Don’t we as human beings deserve more credit for our intelligence?

There are gay actors who play straight roles in Hollywood. Jack Plotnick plays a womanizer in Lovespring, International, and Broadway actor plays a “straight” man in The Class. But these roles are SO supporting and SO minor that they are hardly being reported on in The Advocate or reported on Access Hollywood. For the most part, fear continues to dominate the psyches of closeted gay actors in The Wood, unsure if being out and open about who they are will break their career.

George O’Malley and Barney Stinson are possible exceptions. Since the actors playing these characters were forced out of the closet after their shows became huge successes, they do not seem to have suffered from this sort of stigma where a gay actor can play a straight role without it being completely unconvincing and distracting. But if you look at their characters, they are not entirely believable in and of themselves. O’Malley’s sexuality is shown only in its faults: bumbling his way through a new marriage while fighting his urges for his best friend. And Stinson is the womanizing caricature of a broad comedy. An article I read from The New Republic says, “Hollywood commentators are so certain that Hollywood producers won’t let gays play straight that, when they actually do, well, it’s just not good enough.” But the actors are good enough, and their talents may be going to waste because of the social stigma surrounding homosexuality in Hollywood (after all, they have assumed the role of a straight person for years!). Sure, their shows may be successes, but what will happen to Knight’s and Harris’s careers when their shows end? Sadly, it may not look so good for them.