Hollywood Headliners

-Ashlee Simpson (btw, who spells that name A-S-H-L-E-E. lame.) said in an interview with Cosmo that she is confident with the way she looks. Yeah, I'd be confident too if I had a nose job, lip implants (and a boob job?). But wait, she also said she was confident with the way she looked before. Hmm, so confident, Ashlee, that you had to change your face and ditch your f-ugly black bob for a wavy blonde weave? Just checking.

-Don Imus is reportedly planning to sue CBS for breach of contract. His lawyers claim his $20 million contract requested for him to be "irreverant" and "controversial." Yeah, I'd probably sue if I looked like that, too.


-Gay hater Isaiah Washington will provide a public service announcement for GLAAD and the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network. Reformed, or trying desperately to cover up his mistakes, save his career, and not get fired? Regardless, T.R. Knight is still my favorite gay!

-The Hoff is apparently so self-absorbed that he asked to be videotaped drunk so he can see what he looks like when intoxicated. The video shows him sitting shirtless on the floor of a Las Vegas hotel room, while a family member pleads for him to stop drinking. The Hoff also said, and I can't believe he actually said this, "I'm a recovering alcoholic...unfortunately I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse..." WTF?! No it's not! So I guess that time he was refused to board a plane for being too drunk and he said he was just on new pain medication and didn't know how he would react to it was a lie afterall. 'Cause, you know, we all believed him.

-Britney Spears continued her comeback mini-tour (or should we say mini-comeback tour?) last night with a performance at The House Of Blues in Anaheim. After keeping the crowd waiting for 2 hours, she apparently performed a 12-minute set, 3 minutes shorter than the night before. Also, she was allegedly chewing gum the whole time. So are we happy that she is talented enough to chew gum and lipsync at the same time, or are we ecstatic that she has stopped even trying to cover her lack of live vocal abilities. Either way, we're elated. And it gets even better. Taylor Hicks performed a full set at the same venue, to a meager and tame crowd. So much for the Sould Patrol. Hey, at least he sings!

-Prosecutors are trying to get Paris Hilton to spend 45 days in jail for violations of her probation. After being caught driving on a suspended liscence twice since her last court appearance, and failing to enroll in a substance abuse program within 30 days of her violation, this bitch is stupid. Maybe she needs to read my previous post about paying for a driver. Doesn't she have friends who can let her ride shotgun? But man, I don't think she'll survive 45 days in the penn. It'd be more scandalous than Martha's stint. Suddenly I am getting an image of Jack McFarland in the orange jumpsuit after he was given probably for slapping a meter maid. She would probably try to alter her clothing. At least so they're form fitting. Those sweat suits are just not flattering at all!